Yorkshire & Humber MEP calls you a racist misogynist

Godfrey Bloom, elected as a member of the European Parliament for the Yorkshire And The Humber region in 2004 on the back of a tiny turnout, yesterday attempted to bolster his support for the forthcoming European elections by calling his constituents racists and misogynists.

Desperate local news website seeks people with tangential link to someone else's baby

Local news website the Scrutiniser was today scurrying round desperately for anyone with a tangentially linked experience to the royal offspring as they attempt to fill space.

Country told to review life sentences reviews life sentences. Society remains intact.

A country told by the European Court of Human Rights to start reviewing what were previously whole life sentences without possibility of parole has started reviewing them and has found that society hasn't totally broken down into a lawless morass.

Locals braced for surge in Jason McCartney articles as Parliament goes into recess

As Parliament heads for the long summer recess, locals are being urged to prepare for a huge increase in the number of articles in local news outlets where Jason McCartney appears, smiling while doing pointing at things.

LBT audience wowed as Jason Manford notices stuff

A packed house at the Lawrence Batley theatre revelled in the observational stylings of Jason Manford last night as the Salford funnyman noticed things, pointed out the differences between other things and pondered what it was all about.

Huddersfield showcased in BBC2 documentary

Last night saw BBC2 broadcast an edition of the documentary series 'Town', hosted by Nicholas Crane, which showcased Huddersfield, it's history, diversity and culture.

More than 30 locals self-identify as arseholes

A demonstration by the English Defence League in Huddersfield on Saturday attracted more than thirty people, happy to self-identify as reactionary, hate-filled, opportunistic arseholes.

Bomb disposal experts issue 'dos and don'ts' guide

After a Lepton man found a World War II bomb near Storthes Hall last week and stuck it in the back of his van before realising he was doing something really bloody stupid, the regional bomb disposal unit has issued a handy 'dos and don'ts' guide should anyone find themselves in a similar situation.

All societal problems solved with lager ban

Council leaders today claimed to have solved all of society's problems after a number of licensees on the Real Ale Trail - the popular train-based pub crawl between Dewsbury and Stalybridge - decided to impose a ban on lager sales.

One month left for £1m winning lottery ticket to be claimed

Just a month remains for a winning lottery ticket sold in Huddersfield to be claimed. The £1m-winning Christmas EuroMillions ticket expires on June 23.
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Weather! In May!

The higher ground around Kirklees saw snow and sleet fall overnight. But it's May! Imagine that - having weather in May.

Solution found to Elland issue

Often described as 'the largest town in Yorkshire without a railway station', a solution for Elland has been struck between all interested parties - knock Elland down.

New barriers at region's railway stations

After the successful implementation of ticket barriers across the Northern Rail network, a new type of barrier is set for a trial with an eye on full implementation by 2015.

Increased turnout expected despite lack of elections

Voter turnout is expected to be up on the last set of elections in the Kirklees area, despite the region not going to the polls today.

Huddersfield railway station revamp begins

Huddersfield commuters were facing a squeeze today - but this time not due to the increase of ticket prices!

Arseholes fail to blow up twats in foiled Dewsbury bomb plot

A shower of incompetent arseholes failed to blow up a set of twattish bastards in Dewsbury in a failed bomb plot, a court found yesterday.

Ex-Town chief gives same post-match comments for 300th straight game

Ex-Huddersfield Town boss Simon Grayson marked the 300th consecutive game after which he gave the exact same press conference, a new Football League record.

Tourism chiefs hail "Yorkshire canyon" plan

Yorkshire tourism chiefs have hailed a Huddersfield project which is set to give the town a major boost in visitor numbers.

Police hats "counted out and counted back in" as Town win

Huddersfield Town overcame a spiritless challenge from Championship strugglers Miwawwww at a full to the brim McAlpine stadium on Saturday. In a game attended mostly by police and stewards Mark Robins' Terriers eked out a 3 - 0 win against their Metropolitan Police hat stealing opponents.

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Town face Millwall as police seek to justify their overtime and existence

Huddersfield Town face Millwall this coming Saturday, a fixture which will go a long way to sealing each clubs fate in the Chamionship. With so much at stake The Scrutiniser asks 'is it safe to be in Huddersfield on the day of the game?'

Massive middle finger displayed on Town Hall

Town Halls across Kirklees yesterday replaced the usual flagpole and Union Jack arrangement with an enormous middle finger as former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher was buried in London.

Joy for Moldgreen as another non-take away closes

Good news for the Moldgreen area as another shop becomes available to be turned into a takeaway.

Tesco plans unaffected by £2bn profit

Tesco today pledged that their plans in Huddersfield remain unaffected by their massive profits.

Seventh town centre branch of Greggs to open inside a Greggs

Bakery chain Greggs, following on from gaining permission for a sixth branch in Huddersfield town centre, have announced details of their plans for a seventh.