Monday, 3 June 2013

More than 30 locals self-identify as arseholes

A demonstration by the English Defence League in Huddersfield on Saturday attracted more than thirty people, happy to self-identify as reactionary, hate-filled, opportunistic arseholes.
The pathetic sight gathered at Market Cross, barely noticed by shoppers, traders and passers-by as they attempted to hijack a shocking and brutal murder to push a racist and anti-immigration agenda.

Latest census figures show that over 146,200 people do not agree with the demonstrators, but a council equalities spokesman welcomed the three dozen arseholes in coming out. "This town has a long history of tolerance and inclusivity and we can't pick and choose which minorities we welcome and which we don't. We're happy to have arseholes in the town and will treat them with the same respect as we do everyone else. Arseholes have rights too".

The arseholes had hoped to convene at The Cherry Tree, the Wetherspoons pub on John William Street, prior to their demonstration, but found that it was closed with a sign saying that 'due to unforeseen circumstances' it would not open until noon. "We hope this wasn't the first case of anti-arsehole discrimination", the equalities spokesman told us, "and we will be investigating".

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