Good news for the Moldgreen area as another shop becomes available to be turned into a takeaway.
The former Parfitt's bakery on Broad Lane became free when the chain collapsed into liquidation and is widely expected to become yet another fucking take-away, adding to the three chippies, three Chinese, two pizzerias, one chicken shack and a curry outlet already within a two-minute walk.
Locals are delighted with developments. "It's been almost a month since the last shop became vacant and was turned into a take-away, so it's about time", said one resident. "Frankly, the sooner the old Green Cross, the dentists and Moldgreen Top Club start selling late night food treats, the better", another told us.
Colne Valley MP Jason McCartney said that this was all part of the government's back-to-work pledge. "Under the Conservatives, there will always be work selling kebabs and burgers to people stumbling out of the Ivy Green and Brooks Arms", he told the Scrutiniser.