Democracy fears as town effectively disenfranchised

Chaotic scenes at Westminster yesterday as MPs formed a kilometre-long queue to vote through the end of the remote parliament system which allowed representatives to participate from their homes during the Covid-19 pandemic.

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Wakefield Road works to last until 'Zombie apocalypse'

Commuters can expect further Wakefield Road misery until 'the Zombie apocalypse' according to engineers.

Scrutiniser editorial: Will Hewitt, a rebuttal

Rival Huddersfield new outlet the Huddersfield Daily Examiner today published an article in which Huddersfield University graduate Will Hewitt submitted an argument about the recent spate of plans for more and more student flats in town.
Hewitt's argument suggests that to be against this type of development is to be against students. With headlines such as 'Entire fucking town to be turned into student flats' we took the suggestion slightly personally, but this is both a false dichotomy and emphatically not the case.

Fucker parks massive fucking truck in town - people go fucking mental

Some fucker parked a massive fucking truck right in the middle of St George's Square today as townsfolk proceeded to go fucking mental for some reason.

'Entire fucking town' to become student flats

Huddersfield planners and developers have agreed a formula for the future of the town and the solution is to turn the entire fucking place into student flats.

Yorkshire & Humber MEP calls you a racist misogynist

Godfrey Bloom, elected as a member of the European Parliament for the Yorkshire And The Humber region in 2004 on the back of a tiny turnout, yesterday attempted to bolster his support for the forthcoming European elections by calling his constituents racists and misogynists.

Desperate local news website seeks people with tangential link to someone else's baby

Local news website the Scrutiniser was today scurrying round desperately for anyone with a tangentially linked experience to the royal offspring as they attempt to fill space.

Country told to review life sentences reviews life sentences. Society remains intact.

A country told by the European Court of Human Rights to start reviewing what were previously whole life sentences without possibility of parole has started reviewing them and has found that society hasn't totally broken down into a lawless morass.

Locals braced for surge in Jason McCartney articles as Parliament goes into recess

As Parliament heads for the long summer recess, locals are being urged to prepare for a huge increase in the number of articles in local news outlets where Jason McCartney appears, smiling while doing pointing at things.

LBT audience wowed as Jason Manford notices stuff

A packed house at the Lawrence Batley theatre revelled in the observational stylings of Jason Manford last night as the Salford funnyman noticed things, pointed out the differences between other things and pondered what it was all about.

Huddersfield showcased in BBC2 documentary

Last night saw BBC2 broadcast an edition of the documentary series 'Town', hosted by Nicholas Crane, which showcased Huddersfield, it's history, diversity and culture.

More than 30 locals self-identify as arseholes

A demonstration by the English Defence League in Huddersfield on Saturday attracted more than thirty people, happy to self-identify as reactionary, hate-filled, opportunistic arseholes.

Bomb disposal experts issue 'dos and don'ts' guide

After a Lepton man found a World War II bomb near Storthes Hall last week and stuck it in the back of his van before realising he was doing something really bloody stupid, the regional bomb disposal unit has issued a handy 'dos and don'ts' guide should anyone find themselves in a similar situation.

All societal problems solved with lager ban

Council leaders today claimed to have solved all of society's problems after a number of licensees on the Real Ale Trail - the popular train-based pub crawl between Dewsbury and Stalybridge - decided to impose a ban on lager sales.

One month left for £1m winning lottery ticket to be claimed

Just a month remains for a winning lottery ticket sold in Huddersfield to be claimed. The £1m-winning Christmas EuroMillions ticket expires on June 23.
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Weather! In May!

The higher ground around Kirklees saw snow and sleet fall overnight. But it's May! Imagine that - having weather in May.

Solution found to Elland issue

Often described as 'the largest town in Yorkshire without a railway station', a solution for Elland has been struck between all interested parties - knock Elland down.

New barriers at region's railway stations

After the successful implementation of ticket barriers across the Northern Rail network, a new type of barrier is set for a trial with an eye on full implementation by 2015.

Increased turnout expected despite lack of elections

Voter turnout is expected to be up on the last set of elections in the Kirklees area, despite the region not going to the polls today.